


where do you go (when love just isn't enough)

by shotforthesky



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Insecurity, M/M, Slight Happy Ending, Slight fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 13:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shotforthesky/pseuds/shotforthesky
Summary: sometimes, you just can't ignore things





	where do you go (when love just isn't enough)

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a whole mess but it was inspired by this [headcanon/oneshot](https://siremyrises.tumblr.com/post/174030232754/im-in-love-with-your-siremy-domestic) go check it out

Simon didn’t know how they had gotten to that point. He didn’t know what had set it off, what had been the final tipping point. All he knew was that he’d come home, put his keys on the kitchen table, and suddenly they were screaming, practically ripping each other apart with their words. Jeremy eventually had tears streaming down his face and his whole body was trembling. Simon’s heart broke seeing him like that, but he just never relented. The more Jeremy said, the more Simon refuted, and the faster the tears feel. Jeremy’s voice broke, and he slumped down into a chair, sobbing into his hand as Simon stood frozen. 

“Jeremy?” He whispered, voice shaky. 

Jeremy just shook his head, choking back his cries. Simon took hesitant steps forwards, his hands spread out in front of him. 

“Jeremy, baby, please look at me.”

Jeremy didn’t. He kept his eyes shut, trying to keep the tears back. In looking at Jeremy, Simon suddenly realized that his own face was wet, his tears still trickling down his face.

“Jer, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t—“

“Simon,” Jeremy finally said, interrupting him, “Are you cheating on me?”

Simon took a step back, the air was knocked out of his lungs. How could Jeremy, his beautiful Jeremy, ever think that he would do such a thing? 

“Jeremy—“

“Are you? I’ve barely seen you these past few weeks, you’ve been so distant, and god, sometimes I just feel like you don’t love me as much as I love you. But if you want to be with someone else I need you to tell me, even if it kills me inside.”

“Jeremy, I love you—”

“That doesn’t answer the question, Simon!”

“No! I would never, I could never!”

“Then where have you been, Simon? God,” Jeremy tilted his head back, hand pressed to his forehead, “I don’t know how much more I can take. You keep saying you love me but sometimes I just don’t think that’s enough for me, it just feels like words right now.”

Simon couldn’t breathe. “What do you want me to do, how can I fix this? Just tell me what to do; I can’t lose you, Jeremy. If you want me to work less, I’ll talk to my boss, I’ll take on less, I just got caught up, Jer, but I can be better! For you, I’d do anything.”

“I just...I just need space to breathe right now, I’m sorry.” And with that, Jeremy got to his feet, grabbed his jacket off one of the hooks, put his keys in his pocket, slipped on his shoes, and walked out the door. 

Simon was paralyzed. Jeremy was gone. Simon felt his legs start to tremble violently and they gave way, sending him crumpling to the ground with a choked sob. His breaths came out in ragged pants and he felt his heart constrict, he felt like he was dying. He was so desperate to run after Jeremy, or to call him, anything, he just needed to hear his voice, to see him. 

Simon didn’t know how long he’d been on the floor. He also didn’t really remember how he’d gotten across the flat to their bedroom, or when he curled himself up on Jeremy’s side, burying his head into the pillow, breathing in Jeremy’s scent. He eventually rolled off the bed, stumbling towards the closet, stripping out of his clothes and grabbed one of Jeremy’s sweatshirts, pulling it over his head. Simon made his way back to bed, climbing in under the covers and grabbing Jeremy’s pillow, hugging it to his chest. He pulled the covers around him tightly as if it could replace the feeling of another person. It couldn’t. Before he knew it, tears were streaming down his face faster than ever. How could he have messed up so bad?  
He fell asleep sometime after that, it could’ve been mere minutes, it could’ve been hours. He was jolted awake by the sound of the front door swinging shut and was immediately blinded by the bright light of the sun streaming through his open window. Everything from the previous night came back to him, Jeremy, their fight, him leaving. Simon sprang up, hands splayed behind him to balance himself as he frantically looked around the room.

“Jeremy?” He called out, voice hoarse, “Jer, are you here?”

He waited and listened, eventually hearing someone set down keys, kick off their shoes, and pad towards the bedroom. The door was slowly pushed open, revealing Jeremy. His hair was messy, there were bags under his eyes, and the way he was carrying himself told Simon that he’d probably crashed on Jolene’s couch. Simon sat there, holding his breath, unable to take his eyes off of Jeremy.

“Jeremy…”

Jeremy’s eyes eventually met his and Simon suddenly felt so weak. Jeremy slowly walked across the room, reaching the bed and climbing across it towards Simon. He stopped when he was hovering over Simon, arm’s bracketing his torso. 

“Simon, I love you.”

Simon surged up, knocking Jeremy back a little bit as he wrapped his arms around Jeremy, burying his face in his neck.

“I’m so sorry,” Simon whispered over and over again, one of his hands sliding into Jeremy’s hair, “I love you so much, Jeremy. You’re my whole world.”

He could feel Jeremy shudder as he exhaled, Jeremy’s fingers twisting around the fabric of Simon’s sweatshirt. Jeremy slowly pushed them down, somehow wormed his way under the covers, and curled up against Simon, tight grip never relenting. 

“I just...I felt like I lost you, Simon. I know, me getting insecure isn’t an excuse for walking out on you, I should’ve just talked to you, I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have fought.”  
“It’s not all on you, Jer. I should’ve communicated better. I was just so focused on work that I forgot that you can’t read my mind, that we won’t always been on the same page. I’m sorry I never noticed how this was affecting you.”

Jeremy didn’t answer, he just pressed a kiss to Simon’s neck. And with that one motion, Simon knew they’d be okay. Maybe not now, but eventually.

“We’ll talk more later, yeah? For now I just want to lie here with you,” Jeremy eventually whispered into his neck.

Simon nodded, grabbing one of Jeremy’s hands and pressing a kiss to it. Jeremy let out a sigh and Simon tightened his hold on his boyfriend.

And when they talked later, more tears would be shed, but they wouldn’t raise their voices. When they went to bed, they wouldn’t talk, but Jeremy would press his lips to Simon’s, the kiss would be slow and deep, then he would pull away and lay across Simon, head pressed to his heart. Simon would slowly exhale and wrap his arms around Jeremy after he turned out the lights, and would suddenly feel a rush of fear that if he closed his eyes, Jeremy would disappear.

So that night, Simon wouldn’t sleep. He would stay awake, arms clutching Jeremy to his chest, listening to the heavy breathing. And when the sun came up, Jeremy would notice. He would notice the bags under Simon’s eyes and would flip them over, cradling Simon in his lap, stroking at his hair until he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> highkey was trash and didn't know how to end it  
> come hang out with me on [tumblr](http://shotfortheskyy.tumblr.com/) and witness as i rewatch rise and tweet about it on twitter at @bisexualstrange


End file.
